I have issues with talking to boys, mainly when I have to tell them that I don’t want to kiss, hold hands, or cuddle… I always get really uncomfortable. I just have a hard time saying no, or telling them to “stop”. I just want to avoid all possible awkward situations, but I keep failing. So, I met this guy –who’s code name is Georg, as pronounced in the Sound of Music– in my new ward. We became good friends and nothing more…at least I didn’t want anything more because I was in no way attracted to him in a romantic way. But, I guess he thought differently. One night, I went over to his apartment with my best friend just to hang out like we usually do. We ended up deciding to watch The Walking Dead, which I had never seen before, so we started with the first episode. I was sitting on the couch between my best friend and Georg as the episodes rolled on late into the night. This show is kind of creepy so I was a tad bit scared. After gasping a couple times, and jumping at the sight of atrocious zombies, Georg makes a move and puts his arm around my shoulders. It was so sooooooo awkward, and I felt really uncomfortable. I knew this was going to happen, I just knew it. So there I was, sitting awkwardly, trying to figure out how to make him remove his hairy arm. AHH! I eventually gave in and just did nothing. Minutes later, he pulls me closer to his chest and tries to kiss me; I lean away, hoping he’d get the picture. How could he do this to me, he was one of my brand new friends. There were so many other people in the living room sitting around watching the show, and occasionally us. UGH! “I hate my life” I kept thinking to myself, I just want to go home. As the night rolled on, he would still try and kiss me, I would once again, look away and ignore it. BUT THEN… it happened, he caught me by surprise. When he asked me a question, I turned to look at him as I responded, and then…. he stole a kiss from me! NOOOOO!! I wanted to cry. I wanted to go home, lie in bed and eat an entire gallon of Reese’s peanut butter cup ice cream! Why me I thought, why me? Why am I such a pansy, why can’t I just get some guts and tell him to stop!? The night ended and he walked me home, he stole another as we said goodbye. I closed the door behind me and ran to the bathroom. I felt so “dirty”, so I washed my face. Then I brushed me teeth and went to bed. That night, I prayed that I would have the strength to tell Georg what was on my mind and that I don’t want to be anything more than friends. A couple days later, Georg decided to randomly show up at my apartment. We sat on the couch and talked with one of my roommates. After she left, Georg moved in closer to me, as he put his arms around me to hold me close... I told myself, “Here it is Rachel; this is your chance, the Lord game you this opportunity to make things right before anything worse happened”. Immediately I said, “Don’t!” Georg was surprised and a bit taken back. After arguing about the situation for a bit, I straight up told him the truth and that I just wanted to be friends. He stormed out the door, with a distant, almost in-audible goodbye. Since that day, things have gone back to normal and we’re now friends like we used to be.
I believe that my action of telling Georg the truth was very meaningful. It helped me over come my fear of creating awkward situations. I know have the confidence to tell a guy where our relationship may stand. I’m not afraid to speak my mind, in those specific situations where I may feel uncomfortable. I think that by accomplishing this comfort zone assignment, I have greatly aided myself for future decisions. Now that I have self-assurance and can trust myself to make the right decisions, I know that I will never get caught in an inappropriate situation. I know that I will be able to tell a guy if he is making me feel uncomfortable or if my future boyfriend starts to take things too far. I’m glad to have acquired this goal and am thankful for the Lord’s help in my life.
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